Related Q&As:
- Dumped cuz I’m a virgin
- There is a stigma attached to losing one’s virginity that is inaccurate. The reader is asked a few reflection questions to help them determine why they are hurt following being dumped. Overall, the reader is reassured that there is no set timeline for losing one’s virginity and they should do so when they feel ready.
- Keep the flow with a condom
- There are multiple ways to feel about a sexual experience, and the reader is reassured that their feelings are valid. A few tips for communication to improve their sexual experiences are given. Sex is psychological, so a few tips on how to make the experience of putting on a condom exciting are given.
Source 1: The Tempo of Sexual Activity and Later Relationship Quality
SUMMARY
This study examined whether the pacing of sexual activity in a relationship affects the relationship quality between married men and women. The courtship period is a time when couples explore and make decisions about their relationship. Particularly, it is focused on partner compatibility, commitments, and building physical/emotional intimacy. Recently, it has been found that sexual interactions are happening far faster in relationships than ever before.
In this study, over 1/3rd of couples reported having sex within the first month. For women, it was found that faster entry into sexual relationships was associated with lower relationship quality. Additionally, women were more likely to hold symbolic value to having sex compared to men. As a result, women who waited to engage in sexual activity with their partners reported increased sexual satisfaction.
Source 2: Premarital Sex among Never Married Young Adults in Contemporary China: comparisons between males and females
SUMMARY
Although this source is focused on adults in China, it uses a lot of research on Western which would be appropriate for our response.
From the 1960s to the 70s, the Western world experienced what was called “sex liberation”. This period experienced an increased acceptance of sexual behavior outside of traditional marriages, including premarital sex between unmarried young adults. As it appears now, premarital sex is more common among younger generations. This can be attributed to more conservative birth cohorts being replaced by more liberal cohorts born later.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of stigmas globally that women should not engage in premarital sex while it is excusable for men. This is largely attributed to family values and cultural changes.
Source 3: Half of U.S. Christians say casual sex between consenting adults is sometimes or always acceptable
SUMMARY
This source gives insight into Christian viewpoints on casual sex. Key points are as follows:
- Not in a committed relationship
- 50% of Christian respondents say that casual sex between consenting adults who are not in a committed relationship is always or sometimes ok
- 83% of those who are religiously unaffiliated say that casual sex between consenting adults who are not in a committed relationship is always or sometimes ok
- Unmarried but in a committed relationship
- 57% of Christian respondents say that casual sex between consenting adults who are in a committed relationship but unmarried is always or sometimes ok
- 84% of those who are religiously unaffiliated say that casual sex between consenting adults who are in a committed relationship but unmarried is always or sometimes ok
- Open relationship
- 18% of Christian respondents say that an open relationship between a committed couple is always or sometimes ok
- 54% of those who are religiously unaffiliated say that an open relationship between a committed couple is always or sometimes ok
- Sex on the first date
- 19% of Christian respondents say that having sex on the first date is always or sometimes ok
- 49% of those who are religiously unaffiliated say that having sex on the first date is always or sometimes ok
- Those who attend religious services more often are more likely to disagree with the idea of sex between uncommitted partners
OVERALL CONCLUSIONS:
The previous response does a great job at informing the reader that their first sexual experience should be paced to their liking. It should, however, be a bit more informative on the experiences/thoughts of others. We should condense the current response and move it to the end of a new response.
In the introduction, we should keep the sentence “Conservative or liberal, talking about sex can be awkward and confusing, as well as exciting and fun. Considering, and communicating about, sex can be just as important as "doing it," as you have shown with your thoughtful question.” It is reassuring and opens the response appropriately.
In a new paragraph, we should introduce the sex liberation period from the 1960s to the 70s using source 2. By including details such as stigmas, expectations, and changing times, some context into the reader’s pressure given by their friends is explained.
In a new paragraph, we should run through source 3 as it gives a general overview of Christian views on the topic of sex. Given that the reader makes clear that their Christian identity is a big reason for their hesitance, this is appropriate.
In a new paragraph, we can run through source 1. We can run through what exactly it means to wait for sex and the different outlooks on it.
To close, we can discuss what was included in the previous response in a condensed manner. The reader should feel free to do what they believe is appropriate when they are ready.
Notes on research:
Research for this topic was quite difficult. On top of most information from personal blogs, many“valid” sources were from religious institutions that shamed premarital sex. It was important to find unbiased research that would support the response.